I feel like tonight's Girls is making fun of early Jezebel.
I'm sorry, what? A decade of war is now ended? News to my friends in Afghanistan.
Kyle Chandler played a CIA agent in both Argo and Zero Dark Thirty. He looks nearly identical in both films. There is only one explanation: Kyle Chandler is a Hollywood vampire CIA officer.
Watching all my childless friends post glamorous photos of themselves to Facebook while I sit at home with a sleeping kid and play SWTOR, drunk, and unsuccessfully pretend to not be slightly bitter.
One should not watch Diners, Drive-ins, Dives when one is hungry. Nothing I cook tonight will taste half as good as all this stuff looks.
Presented to you without comment, from my facebook feed.
So what's everyone baking? I'm working on snickerdoodle blondies at the moment.
You have porn in your comments: http://jezebel.com/5923584/dont-put-women-in-combat-says-female-combat-veteran?comment=50664877
Bittersweet technology moment: when your seven-year-old stepkid uses her LeapPad (kiddie tablet) to record her deadbeat, drug-addicted mother's voice, so that she can hear her saying "I love you" in the months between phone calls.
Drinking until the soreness in my muscles goes away. Tonight, I consider this a foolproof plan. Tomorrow, I will curse the God that made me. To infinity and beyond, my friends.
I have a confession to make, internet.
Going to a Superbowl party at a Mormon's house. There will be no alcohol. I am a masochist.
Man, after repeated attempts at Supernatural (no offense Serenada, it's just not my thing) and Being Human (U.K. version), I finally tried Lost Girl on Netflix. And it's like, yes, this is the show I've been trying to find since I rushed through Buffy, Angel, and Battlestar Galactica.
Shut up, Chuck Schumer. You're killing my patriotic lady-boner.